I found a new tv channel when I got home last night – More 4. It was showing a very early ER, which was perfect to fill in the washing up/cooking/eating time I was actually in the house. And then it had Grand Designs. I like that programme too. Cause I want to build my own house. I keep redesigning my house in my head, but can never decide. I want a secret room that appears from the library when you pull out a book. And I want everything to be eco friendly and self sustainable. Not sure how to do either really. And I want a proper fireplace. There are just too many completely different styles I want for them all to happen at once.
Anyway, I had to leave the couple who were building a glass box on a hill in Spain, so I don’t know if they got what they wanted, to rush off to orchestra. It’s a good job I went! I nearly didn’t, but there was only one other cellist there. I’m not sure what he would have done on his own. Anyway, I had fun. I was rubbish, but got better and was good at some bits. I was debating not being in the concert the other day, cause I’ve been in this orchestra soooo long and I feel a bit like a sore thumb now, knowing what happened 5 years ago. I suppose it shows how good MUGSS is, cause loads of people stay in that for many many years. But I think I will be in it, cause I like one of the pieces we are doing and I want to keep playing.
I’m going to try to remember what we are playing… Tchaikovsky – Slavonic March (? I can’t remember what it’s called, but I looked up a list and this one is in Bb Major, so could be it…), Carmen Overture and something else. I’m useless at this memory thing. Anyway, the Tchaikovsky is my favourite. It’s got the Russian national anthem in it, and we get quite a bit of tune (but it’s easy and with the brass) and some plonky ponky bits and some other bits. I like it. I do not like flutes though. Or piccolos.
I’ve got a cello lesson soon. I’m quite scared. I’ve not played cello in front of anyone since about 1998 (which reminds me I should write back to the man from Gambia!). But I’m going to go. Not sure what I’m going to play. Think I’m going to ask him how I’m supposed to sit and hold my cello and bow and stuff. Cause I always feel like I’m wrong. Anyway, my dad’s paying (if he remembers that he promised!) and if I don’t like it I don’t have to have another.
Then I went back and made some progress on my bags. I think the pink one is going to be ace, but I can’t work out how to finish it. I should have thought about that earlier. Oops.
I think my wisdom teeth are coming through. Which is less worrying than what I thought – that I’d got some food or something stuck in my gum… And I’ve been sneezing all day. Grump grump grump. I was so chirpy when I got to work this morning! The Goonies can vouch to that, from the e-mail I sent them. But now I’m not. I’m going to look up new jobs now. Sod the work I should be doing.
Jam
Last night I stayed late at work, so by the time I got home and ate and stuff it was about 9. So I did some pottering about while Dan had a run, then we watched Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind while I created and Dan was being a geek and doing work. I wasn’t in the mood for that film, but got into it eventually. It probably well confused Dan, cause he hadn’t seen it and was hardly watching. So wasn’t the best choice for him either. Oh well. It is still really good though. It intrigues me, the whole messing with people’s memory and stuff. Possibly cause my memory is awful and I wonder what it would be like if you knew where you’d been and stuff. And the whole destiny/supposed to meet someone ness is strange. Is there such a thing in real life? It made me think of my first crush and what would happen if I met him again. Not that anything happened before - just if you’ll always have the same feelings for people and stuff.
Anyway, I was mostly sorting material and cutting into the right size bits to make bags. I had 2 sorted, then went upstairs to sew. Have sewed the main bit of a silver sequin bag and 2 sides of a random pink bag. I’m not convinced the pink one will work, but I’ll have a look when I get back and hopefully make it before I go out tonight. I’d like to take it to the wedding at the weekend.
This morning it was very tricky getting up. Cycling was quite good though. Didn’t have to stop for any lights, except near the end. Did stop to remove my jacket though. Realised that I was possibly flashing a bit due to how far I have to lean to reach the handlebars… Oops. But it’s getting easier to ride. I don’t have to change down gears for the hills anymore. This might be cause I started in a lower gear, but I think I’ve just found a more stable one, rather than having to change all the time. And my bum doesn’t hurt as much.
I am REALLY fed up of work though. It’s all pointless. I just can’t be arsed doing anything. Not long now till my contract ends though. So not staying on even if they ask me. I hope on of the jobs I’ve applied for comes through. I’ve not really applied for anything else yet though. I should this week. But it’s all a bit full already… Tonight is orchestra, tomorrow is un-hockey curry, Thurs is MUGSS and Friday I go away. Maybe I’ll try to sneak away early tonight and do them as well as my bags. Then on Thurs I shall sneak away too and go shopping, so that I don’t have to get up at stupid o’clock on Friday. I need to sleep so I’m good at driving. I’m a bit scared about driving, cause I don’t know what car I will be getting until I get there, and it might be strange. And I’m driving Charlotte and Dan and a random boy called Luke. I probably should get Helen and Danny a present too, as well as my dad for his birthday and something to wear. Expensive trip! But I feel cheeky not buying them a present just cause I’m paying to go. And I want new shoes.
I’m bored of reading what I’m typing now.
Anyway, I was mostly sorting material and cutting into the right size bits to make bags. I had 2 sorted, then went upstairs to sew. Have sewed the main bit of a silver sequin bag and 2 sides of a random pink bag. I’m not convinced the pink one will work, but I’ll have a look when I get back and hopefully make it before I go out tonight. I’d like to take it to the wedding at the weekend.
This morning it was very tricky getting up. Cycling was quite good though. Didn’t have to stop for any lights, except near the end. Did stop to remove my jacket though. Realised that I was possibly flashing a bit due to how far I have to lean to reach the handlebars… Oops. But it’s getting easier to ride. I don’t have to change down gears for the hills anymore. This might be cause I started in a lower gear, but I think I’ve just found a more stable one, rather than having to change all the time. And my bum doesn’t hurt as much.
I am REALLY fed up of work though. It’s all pointless. I just can’t be arsed doing anything. Not long now till my contract ends though. So not staying on even if they ask me. I hope on of the jobs I’ve applied for comes through. I’ve not really applied for anything else yet though. I should this week. But it’s all a bit full already… Tonight is orchestra, tomorrow is un-hockey curry, Thurs is MUGSS and Friday I go away. Maybe I’ll try to sneak away early tonight and do them as well as my bags. Then on Thurs I shall sneak away too and go shopping, so that I don’t have to get up at stupid o’clock on Friday. I need to sleep so I’m good at driving. I’m a bit scared about driving, cause I don’t know what car I will be getting until I get there, and it might be strange. And I’m driving Charlotte and Dan and a random boy called Luke. I probably should get Helen and Danny a present too, as well as my dad for his birthday and something to wear. Expensive trip! But I feel cheeky not buying them a present just cause I’m paying to go. And I want new shoes.
I’m bored of reading what I’m typing now.
#Lonely This Christmas#
I had a dream that I coughed something up, and I was convinced for ages that it was a bit of lung, but it turned out to be a jellyfish that had been living in me for 18 years.
I have a cough today.
Also in the dream I read a notebook of someone from work and it said that I was fantastic.
So… Thursday night was MUGSS and afterwards we went to Baa Bar near Canal Street. It was pants. There were very few people that I knew, and everyone seemed grumpy and just stood around. I felt very old and out of place, so got the bus home. Was very grumpy when I got home, which is odd cause I’d been having fun and flirting with Spiky Ric who was drunk cause it was his birthday earlier. Just switched off and got bored.
Friday I nearly didn’t go to work, but did, just a bit late. Wasn’t that eventful, except we went on a random mission to Didsbury to get Rosli a cake as she’d been working on the project for a year. Nope, that was Thursday. Oh well.
Friday night I went to Sand Bar and it was ace!! There was Liz, Matt, Matt, Charlotte, Dan, Charlotte’s Mum, Andy, Ian, Justin, Pete, Rosy, Mahinda and Ed. I hope I didn’t miss anyone… Oh shit! My little sister, Jennifer. We all just drank and chatted and laughed. No-one did anything silly or strange, it was all just fun. Then we went to Scubar and Jennifer found someone she knew, but I kinda knew them too, and it was weird. Then she found someone else she knew, which is just too much. It’s Manchester! I should know more people! Although we were with lots of my friends. Then we went and stayed over in Liz’s spare bed.
Saturday I went and got weighed, which wasn’t that scary or strange or anything. I just stood and then Liz and Paula and the woman whooped at how much I’d lost, and I just thought that it’s just a number. Oops. I should have been more excited. Anyway, I’m not going next week, so it could all go either way. Then I had to rush off and sort out the costume store. I got help from Claire and Matt and Heather. We sorted out lots of stuff and tried on lots of random things, most of which minged.
In the evening I met Linden, her new (ish, but I’ve never met him, so very new to me) fella, Matt, Pete, Rosy, Emma, Adrian, Kate S and Doctor Kate for curry. I was naughty and ignored the diet for a day, cause I lost weight. Oops. And drank beer cause Pete said he’d give me Kudos. Then we headed off to Fab after an unfruitful point-de-cash mission, where Dan and his boys turned up. We played drinking games and stuff. It was good. I talked to strangers on the bus home and was being a good citizen and gave someone a sequin for his birthday and woke him up in Rusholme for a curry, and checked if random sleeping man had missed his stop.
Today I woke up in a big grump, then Sarah inspired me to fix my blanket box and I cheered up for a bit. I was a good girl and went to Kwik Save and bought vegetables. I’ve decided it’s my favourite supermarket cause their tins have the indented bottom bit so they stack better. I’m easily impressed! Went to Kro bar this evening to see Charlotte. I thought it’d just be us and Dan and her mum, but Kathryn and Murray and Simon and Charlie were there too. My brain wasn’t in the right mode for that, so I was a bit rubbish and only talked to Charlotte really. Sorry Kathryn! Now I’m listening to Christmas music and I should be asleep.
I have a cough today.
Also in the dream I read a notebook of someone from work and it said that I was fantastic.
So… Thursday night was MUGSS and afterwards we went to Baa Bar near Canal Street. It was pants. There were very few people that I knew, and everyone seemed grumpy and just stood around. I felt very old and out of place, so got the bus home. Was very grumpy when I got home, which is odd cause I’d been having fun and flirting with Spiky Ric who was drunk cause it was his birthday earlier. Just switched off and got bored.
Friday I nearly didn’t go to work, but did, just a bit late. Wasn’t that eventful, except we went on a random mission to Didsbury to get Rosli a cake as she’d been working on the project for a year. Nope, that was Thursday. Oh well.
Friday night I went to Sand Bar and it was ace!! There was Liz, Matt, Matt, Charlotte, Dan, Charlotte’s Mum, Andy, Ian, Justin, Pete, Rosy, Mahinda and Ed. I hope I didn’t miss anyone… Oh shit! My little sister, Jennifer. We all just drank and chatted and laughed. No-one did anything silly or strange, it was all just fun. Then we went to Scubar and Jennifer found someone she knew, but I kinda knew them too, and it was weird. Then she found someone else she knew, which is just too much. It’s Manchester! I should know more people! Although we were with lots of my friends. Then we went and stayed over in Liz’s spare bed.
Saturday I went and got weighed, which wasn’t that scary or strange or anything. I just stood and then Liz and Paula and the woman whooped at how much I’d lost, and I just thought that it’s just a number. Oops. I should have been more excited. Anyway, I’m not going next week, so it could all go either way. Then I had to rush off and sort out the costume store. I got help from Claire and Matt and Heather. We sorted out lots of stuff and tried on lots of random things, most of which minged.
In the evening I met Linden, her new (ish, but I’ve never met him, so very new to me) fella, Matt, Pete, Rosy, Emma, Adrian, Kate S and Doctor Kate for curry. I was naughty and ignored the diet for a day, cause I lost weight. Oops. And drank beer cause Pete said he’d give me Kudos. Then we headed off to Fab after an unfruitful point-de-cash mission, where Dan and his boys turned up. We played drinking games and stuff. It was good. I talked to strangers on the bus home and was being a good citizen and gave someone a sequin for his birthday and woke him up in Rusholme for a curry, and checked if random sleeping man had missed his stop.
Today I woke up in a big grump, then Sarah inspired me to fix my blanket box and I cheered up for a bit. I was a good girl and went to Kwik Save and bought vegetables. I’ve decided it’s my favourite supermarket cause their tins have the indented bottom bit so they stack better. I’m easily impressed! Went to Kro bar this evening to see Charlotte. I thought it’d just be us and Dan and her mum, but Kathryn and Murray and Simon and Charlie were there too. My brain wasn’t in the right mode for that, so I was a bit rubbish and only talked to Charlotte really. Sorry Kathryn! Now I’m listening to Christmas music and I should be asleep.
Pointlessness
On the bus on the way home yesterday, I just felt like everything I do is pointless. Why am I doing it?? It’s not going to get me anywhere. I’m going to enjoy doing the show, and will learn a lot from it, but that’s not going to take up much of my time. Well, it might…
But it’s not enough to live for, surely? I need a new job. But even with a new job I’m just plodding along until I move to Edinburgh. I’m not really living for anything else. And that sucks.
But it’s not enough to live for, surely? I need a new job. But even with a new job I’m just plodding along until I move to Edinburgh. I’m not really living for anything else. And that sucks.
Der de de doo doo, der dee dee doo doo
I have the Bill Bailey version of the Magic Roundabout theme tune stuck in my head.
Anyway, Tuesday night I went home between work and CAOS, the main reason being I couldn't take my cello to work on my bike. This could have been fixed by getting the bus, but this means paying for a bus pass and not being as healthy. But I had to go home anyway, cause my mum was coming to pick up my broken cd/radio/clock thing to take it back. My dad came too and I wasn't ready, so ended up not being happy with my orchestra outfit. Oh well. And they went in my room that I hadn't tidied after the glitter-spilling incident. But my dad said it wasn't as bad as he's seen it before, so that's ok. Phew.
They gave me a lift to Owens Park (I don't like orchestra being there! It's poo!) and I was early. So talked to some randoms and Al a bit. Being early meant I saw some choir people I've not seen for a while and got lots of squeals and hugs, which was nice. I might go back to choir. But I'd have to go straight from work and rehearse till 10... Orchestra was fun. The really good girl from last week wasn't there, so I got to sit at the front again, and it was fun. Made friends with a viola player and then went to the pub and bought a violin player (?) a drink - he looked so young, but was a third year! I thought he was a fresher!! Oops. If you find this, Ollie, don't be offended. We'll all be jealous soon.
I had a quick diet coke and headed off to Archie's birthday across the road at Sofa. I don't like it much in there, but it was ok. I thought the bouncer wasn't going to let me in with my cello for a while, but he did. I trusted a stranger (one of Kieron's housemates) at being in charge of my cello whenever I wasn't looking. He did well! I don't usually let anyone touch him, but Andy was leaning on him and I wasn't worried. Strange. Joanna forced me into a lift home, which was ace. I'll miss her birthday cause she's on holiday, but will see her at Helen's wedding, so it'll all be ok.
Yesterday I cylced to work again, then went to hockey where I was RUBBISH officially. I can have excuses - like I trapped a nerve or something at the beginning which actually made it hurt to walk, then I felt all dizzy and it got dark and made it worse - but basically I'm just not very good. I don't like it either. I never know where I'm supposed to be, where anyone else is going, never mind how actually how to hit the ball.
Then went home, ate tea and headed off to the ceilidh. It was ace! But there were far too many people in my way. Grrr. My new shoes held up well and didn't hurt at all, even after 3 hours jumping and skipping and bouncing. Yay! I do have a few bruises on my feet though from people standing on me. Looking forward to the next one already!
I've cycled in AGAIN today. Get me! I've decided I like cycling in. I don't like cycling home though. I just have to make sure I don't think about that when I'm leaving in the mornings. And if I just don't buy a bus pass that will help. Technically I can claim extra points to eat from exercise, but I’m denying that so far. I may buckle though when I really want something!
Water
Lots of people think I am strange because I can't drink water. Well, I physically can, or that *would* be weird, it just makes me heave. And generally I drink hardly enything. Ever. It's funny cause by bestest friend, Charlotte, is the "Thirstiest Girl in the World" offficially.
So, today I cycled in and have a very sore throat, so I've had the urge to drink. I wouldn't say I'm thirsty, it feels different, I just want liquid in my throat. So I've had a whole bottle of squash. Well, as in a small coke bottle, so not that much. And now I need a wee.
So, today I cycled in and have a very sore throat, so I've had the urge to drink. I wouldn't say I'm thirsty, it feels different, I just want liquid in my throat. So I've had a whole bottle of squash. Well, as in a small coke bottle, so not that much. And now I need a wee.
I stayed in!!
Not sure when the last time that happened… That’s a bad sign. I’ve been out and drank every night since Edinburgh (except 2 where I stayed in and drank) until Sunday when I didn’t have any alcohol. So that’s 2 days I’ve not drank now. Scary.
This is partly from diet, but it’s also one big reason for going on it – I don’t have any will power to turn down drinks for any other reason! I’m so rubbish. On Saturday I worked out (with Andrew’s mathematical help (fingers)) that in the previous 7 days I’d had 72 units of alcohol. And very few of these were on a Friday or Saturday night. Oops. But 2 days without alcohol and it’s so much trickier to get up in the mornings and my throat is so sore. I wonder if it’s because alcohol kills bugs in my throat and now they are having a party.
Last night I told Chris (who I was supposed to be going one a date with) that I didn’t have time to see him. Which is true, but felt a bit cheeky cause I wasn’t actually doing anything. But I needed to stay in soooo much. And I haven’t got time to make new friends at the moment, unless they are in MUGSS probably, cause there just aren’t enough evenings in a week.
So I stayed in and made a bag. Just one though. How rubbish is that?!? But it is a great bag. It’s blue cord (part of a trouser leg) with a sequiny silver pocket and a hula girl pocket and a turquoise sequiny strap. It’s fabulous and a present for someone. Hopefully I will be more productive tonight before orchestra. But probably not cause my mum’s coming over to take my broken cd player and some vacuums away.
I also watched Gattaca, which is fantastic. I think of that film all the time. Whenever they bring out a new thing, a step towards “designer babies”. Where should we draw the line? What illnesses/defects should actually be screened for? Everyone wants to give their child the best life, surely, but being theoretically perfect doesn’t mean that you’re a good person. Fact.
Ok, I could talk about that for ages, but not really on my own. To lighten the mood – Word wants to change the word Gattaca to Gateau.
This is partly from diet, but it’s also one big reason for going on it – I don’t have any will power to turn down drinks for any other reason! I’m so rubbish. On Saturday I worked out (with Andrew’s mathematical help (fingers)) that in the previous 7 days I’d had 72 units of alcohol. And very few of these were on a Friday or Saturday night. Oops. But 2 days without alcohol and it’s so much trickier to get up in the mornings and my throat is so sore. I wonder if it’s because alcohol kills bugs in my throat and now they are having a party.
Last night I told Chris (who I was supposed to be going one a date with) that I didn’t have time to see him. Which is true, but felt a bit cheeky cause I wasn’t actually doing anything. But I needed to stay in soooo much. And I haven’t got time to make new friends at the moment, unless they are in MUGSS probably, cause there just aren’t enough evenings in a week.
So I stayed in and made a bag. Just one though. How rubbish is that?!? But it is a great bag. It’s blue cord (part of a trouser leg) with a sequiny silver pocket and a hula girl pocket and a turquoise sequiny strap. It’s fabulous and a present for someone. Hopefully I will be more productive tonight before orchestra. But probably not cause my mum’s coming over to take my broken cd player and some vacuums away.
I also watched Gattaca, which is fantastic. I think of that film all the time. Whenever they bring out a new thing, a step towards “designer babies”. Where should we draw the line? What illnesses/defects should actually be screened for? Everyone wants to give their child the best life, surely, but being theoretically perfect doesn’t mean that you’re a good person. Fact.
Ok, I could talk about that for ages, but not really on my own. To lighten the mood – Word wants to change the word Gattaca to Gateau.
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