Fast forward

Pause went to fast forward. Don't have blog at new work, never mind a minute to write anything. I love it though.

I did right this the other day though:

"Being 11/11/08 I've been thinking about history. I don't know much about it. I do know what I feel though – I feel proud of the people who fought and died for our country. I have no idea of the politics involved, I have no idea if I agree with whoever made the decision to go to war, but I do agree with every single person who willingly or grudgingly fought for our country, our freedom and our lives. Thank you – whoever and wherever you are now.

"There's no *need* to be anything anymore. No need to be brave. No need to be strong. No need to be resilient. No need to work for supper. No need to care for yourself and your family. No need to behave appropriately. No need to commit. No need to be loyal. No need to keep your opinion to yourself. No need to consider the point of view of other people.

"Life goes on. Move on. Get over it. Restart. Get a new job. Get a new house. Get new friends. I'm as bad as anyone for that, I know. Doesn't mean I like it or I'm proud of it. I wish I was stronger, but I'm not. But I've also never *needed* to be."



Anyway, this last couple of weeks went a little mad. After I don't know how many weekends of being in Edinburgh, and no projects to speak of, I now have too many. It's great. I feel almost human. Not quite, but almost. Right now I blame the migraine.

Anyway, some things in the last few weeks:

-- my parents moved house
-- I started a new job
-- I bought a new duvet (mmmm....)
-- my dog died
-- my gran is poorly
-- I am on the board for PGP
-- I did the orchestra accounts
-- am in the process of shoe boxes for charity
-- still can't play the stupid Berlioz
-- went to Manchester and saw lovely people
-- went to Bradford and saw different lovely people
-- going to see the new parental house this weekend*
-- my window now closes
-- got rid of my bus pass
-- joined the gym and got good at going, but haven't had time in 2 weeks
-- went for drinks with old work
-- went for drinks with new work
-- have sewing projects on the go
-- I don't really sleep

Generally it's been quite mad. Am rather happy though. I just wish there was a bus home from orchestra. Or I could get straps for my 'cello case that means I can carry him on both shoulders.

There's still quite a lot to brain digest though.


*Gran health depending. Must remember a map. And painting clothes. And need to find out which neighbour I might need to introduce myself to get a key.