I just misread 2 spam e-mails - "Pick her up", and "What's in your pants?" became "Pick up her pants". Much better, imho.
10/9/7 - After work I met Dan and Gesine in the Elephant House for a catch chat. Turned out to be a little silly, as Gesine now lives here and I'll see her all the time, and I'll see Dan on Saturday in Manchester. But was lovely to see them together and talk rubbish. I then nipped home to gather housemates plus couchsurfer (lovely lady called Cynthia from Florida) before heading to The Stand for a night of comedy. Red Raw is the Monday slot, and for £2 you get 8 novice acts plus a professional compere and headliner. Not all as funny as each other, obviously, but overall a funny evening, especially for £2!
11/9/7 - Jo (who we went to Roskilde with) came round to see Erin in her last week (*sniff sniff*), so I cooked her a random dinner and we all watched Bill Bailey's Part Troll with appletinis. Yum. I hope that I manage to stay in touch with Jo, but so far I've only managed to communicate through Erin. I'll try!
12/9/7 - Stayed at work late (ha ha, only till 6, but I've not managed that for a while - there's just no need to) and then got a lift with Dan. It took us both far longer than normal to get home, due to getting lost advenutres, but had a good gossip, which made me feel better. Accidentally on purpose got into bed when I got home, and had a little nap. Managed to get up briefly to do my nails and watch Addicted to Love with Emma. Nails a disaster though, so will try to find time to fix them later.
13/9/7 - Today. Got orchestra tonight followed by a committee meeting. Wanted to go to a Creative Space meeting and a Savoy meeting to discuss costumes for their next productions. Creative Space is a group from work that put on shows. I'm producing the next show, so they organised a production meeting for tonight, that I can't go to. Interesting. We'll see how this one pans out... If they keep doing annoying things like that, then I'm just not going to help. Not sure what kind of cosutmes Savoy want for Salad Days, so want to have a discussion with the directors and Nikki and Gesine and anyone else who's interested to see who should do costumes. But I can't go to the open meeting, so I shall just join them on the pub crawl after my orchestra committee meeting and see if anyone makes any sense!
Tomorrow I go to Manchester. I'm quite excited! Friday night is going to be a cosy night in Hardy's Well with Charlotte, Liz, Cass, etc. Saturday brunch with Justin, hopefully meeting maths/teaching people in the afternoon, then Cattac's 30th in the evening. Lots of older generation MUGSS should be there, including Mike and Pam! Aces. Not sure what Sunday holds yet, except I know it will end at my parents house. This might be my last visit to that house. CRY! I look forward to writing about this all after it happens.
Now, I go hunt for work.
September
I'm not going to bother filling in the gaps, but I'm going to turn over a new leaf and start at the beginning of September. Plan.
1/9/7 - I woke up on a floor. This isn't as random as it would appear, except that the day before isn't included a la blog, due to it being August. I was at Lolly's house in Whitley Bay near Newcastle for the weekend, with Helen and Archie too. We started the day with breakfast on the beach with Lolly's parents, and had a paddle too. Lovely. Then we went to Newcastle (it has a castle! Who knew?!?) and explored and had tea and cakes and a little accidental shopping on route. Then back to Lolly's house for tea and getting ready. Helen was quite obsessed with SingStar or whatever it's called on whatever gadget Lolly has. Watching someone doing karaoke whilst sober and drinking tea is quite surreal. We then went out round Whitley Bay and a good time was had! Whitley Bay does seem to be full of old sleezy men though...
2/9/7 - Another night on the floor was really not good for me! I haven't mentioned that I'd been quite ill and off for most of the previous week. So I really needed a nice restful weekend with good quality sleep. Never mind! Sunday morning was spent mostly tidying up and stuff, followed by a trip to St. Mary's Lighthouse, which handily happens to be on a tidal island! I'm doing fairly well at collecting them. Woo! We walked all 167 steps to the top and enjoyed watching the CCTV camera. We also enjoyed talking to a man about birds. Helen appreciated his beard. I did not. I just about made it back to my train on time. Phew. Got home and attempted a little nap, but think I failed and did something useful, before going to see the Fireworks! Caroline had managed to acquire some last minute tickets to the gardens, so along with Eoin we packed a picnic and had a lovely view. Nice.
3/9/7 - All the activity hadn't helped anything, so I was off sick. Fun.
4/9/7 - Ditto.
5/9/7 - Had the first of two sessions of viewing the flat. Met lots of people, some of whom I would live with and some I would not! Think that might have been all that happened.
6/9/7 - The first orchestra of the term. Am still quite annoyed about the organisation of the orchestra (says the treasurer who has no clue how to do the accounts...). We started the term without knowing when the concert is going to be and what music we are playing. And we didn't have enough parts for everyone. And only half the committee was there, without telling the rest of the committee. But on the positive side Eoin is getting there with the website, so fingers crossed. And Neil was back! Hurrah! I like sitting next to Neil. He gets everything right, but refuses to lead the section. So I lead the section with everyone knowing he's better. That's just fine. I'm usually in the right place at the right speed (Neil's so fast!) which will do.
7/9/7 - Hand hurt a lot. Glad I told the doctor and am going to see a specialist. Although feel I may not have told him exactly what hurts, as I'm not sure. Hopefully all ok. I hope I don't have to give anything up. Left work pretty early to go back and show people around the flat. So many people! Was a bit crazy. But enough nice people that we knew we could cope with. Lovely. Then off to the pub to see Tim before he moved to Sheffield. It was fun, although I wasn't there for long before heading to watch The Graeme Mearns Band starring Ali from orchestra. Such a good band. I love them. Then we stayed for a few drinks, which turned into a bit of a session, for which I entirely blame John. He's such a bad influence! But lovely.
8/9/7 - ZOO! For Erin's birthday I gave her a voucher for a trip to Edinburgh Zoo, as I knew she wanted to go before she left. So we went with Emma as well. It was ace! Fun, fun, fun. We saw the penguin parade and had a picnic and took silly pictures of us with our heads/hands in strange places. Pictures on Facebook. Then we went to see Run, Fat Boy, Run, the new Simon Pegg film. He's lovely. Then we watched Rocky Horror Picture Show as neither Erin nor Emma had seen it. I think we were all too tired though! Great day.
9/9/7 - I spent most of the day in bed with a migraine. Nice. Managed to go to Tesco about 7.30 and then cook tea and watch Shooting Fish, then back to bed. Oh, at some point we did manage to sort out a new housemate and tell all the others that it's gone. Phew.
10/9/7 - Today. Head still hurts and am knackered despite millions of sleep. Today is the beginning of National Suicide Prevention Awareness Week. I doing know what I'm going to do to support it yet. Maybe I should have thought of this before. But something... Something...
1/9/7 - I woke up on a floor. This isn't as random as it would appear, except that the day before isn't included a la blog, due to it being August. I was at Lolly's house in Whitley Bay near Newcastle for the weekend, with Helen and Archie too. We started the day with breakfast on the beach with Lolly's parents, and had a paddle too. Lovely. Then we went to Newcastle (it has a castle! Who knew?!?) and explored and had tea and cakes and a little accidental shopping on route. Then back to Lolly's house for tea and getting ready. Helen was quite obsessed with SingStar or whatever it's called on whatever gadget Lolly has. Watching someone doing karaoke whilst sober and drinking tea is quite surreal. We then went out round Whitley Bay and a good time was had! Whitley Bay does seem to be full of old sleezy men though...
2/9/7 - Another night on the floor was really not good for me! I haven't mentioned that I'd been quite ill and off for most of the previous week. So I really needed a nice restful weekend with good quality sleep. Never mind! Sunday morning was spent mostly tidying up and stuff, followed by a trip to St. Mary's Lighthouse, which handily happens to be on a tidal island! I'm doing fairly well at collecting them. Woo! We walked all 167 steps to the top and enjoyed watching the CCTV camera. We also enjoyed talking to a man about birds. Helen appreciated his beard. I did not. I just about made it back to my train on time. Phew. Got home and attempted a little nap, but think I failed and did something useful, before going to see the Fireworks! Caroline had managed to acquire some last minute tickets to the gardens, so along with Eoin we packed a picnic and had a lovely view. Nice.
3/9/7 - All the activity hadn't helped anything, so I was off sick. Fun.
4/9/7 - Ditto.
5/9/7 - Had the first of two sessions of viewing the flat. Met lots of people, some of whom I would live with and some I would not! Think that might have been all that happened.
6/9/7 - The first orchestra of the term. Am still quite annoyed about the organisation of the orchestra (says the treasurer who has no clue how to do the accounts...). We started the term without knowing when the concert is going to be and what music we are playing. And we didn't have enough parts for everyone. And only half the committee was there, without telling the rest of the committee. But on the positive side Eoin is getting there with the website, so fingers crossed. And Neil was back! Hurrah! I like sitting next to Neil. He gets everything right, but refuses to lead the section. So I lead the section with everyone knowing he's better. That's just fine. I'm usually in the right place at the right speed (Neil's so fast!) which will do.
7/9/7 - Hand hurt a lot. Glad I told the doctor and am going to see a specialist. Although feel I may not have told him exactly what hurts, as I'm not sure. Hopefully all ok. I hope I don't have to give anything up. Left work pretty early to go back and show people around the flat. So many people! Was a bit crazy. But enough nice people that we knew we could cope with. Lovely. Then off to the pub to see Tim before he moved to Sheffield. It was fun, although I wasn't there for long before heading to watch The Graeme Mearns Band starring Ali from orchestra. Such a good band. I love them. Then we stayed for a few drinks, which turned into a bit of a session, for which I entirely blame John. He's such a bad influence! But lovely.
8/9/7 - ZOO! For Erin's birthday I gave her a voucher for a trip to Edinburgh Zoo, as I knew she wanted to go before she left. So we went with Emma as well. It was ace! Fun, fun, fun. We saw the penguin parade and had a picnic and took silly pictures of us with our heads/hands in strange places. Pictures on Facebook. Then we went to see Run, Fat Boy, Run, the new Simon Pegg film. He's lovely. Then we watched Rocky Horror Picture Show as neither Erin nor Emma had seen it. I think we were all too tired though! Great day.
9/9/7 - I spent most of the day in bed with a migraine. Nice. Managed to go to Tesco about 7.30 and then cook tea and watch Shooting Fish, then back to bed. Oh, at some point we did manage to sort out a new housemate and tell all the others that it's gone. Phew.
10/9/7 - Today. Head still hurts and am knackered despite millions of sleep. Today is the beginning of National Suicide Prevention Awareness Week. I doing know what I'm going to do to support it yet. Maybe I should have thought of this before. But something... Something...
The house
http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.aspx?edid=00&salerent=0&pid=883984&agentid=09468
That's it. It's on the market. My parents are actually going to move! Strange. People have already looked round even though there are no pictures and it only went in the paper on Thursday. My mum's been having a fight about the caravan being in the picture, hence it stopping where it does (caravan is to the right of the garage).
Madness
So... August in Edinburgh, hey? It's been crazy! I want to write down everything that I've done. But I realise that this is probably going to take a long time. I haven't even written about Roskilde bands yet, and I really wanted to have that on record too. One day, one day...
I should be moving house soon, and then I might be very poor. I will spend all my evenings in my flat on the internet drinking cheap wine. It might be quite nice.
But now is not the time for any such updating. Now I just wanted to ask a question:
Where are all the ethnic minority elderly people in Scotland? Cause they sure aren't in any of the homes/hospitals I've visited.
I should be moving house soon, and then I might be very poor. I will spend all my evenings in my flat on the internet drinking cheap wine. It might be quite nice.
But now is not the time for any such updating. Now I just wanted to ask a question:
Where are all the ethnic minority elderly people in Scotland? Cause they sure aren't in any of the homes/hospitals I've visited.
Floods and houses
26/7/7 - Work. Felt like a really short day, as I only got to the office about 2.30 after my drive back. Which is nice. Then it was the last orchestra of the term. I thought for this we might get a bigger turn out - I was wrong! 18 people - just like the last 3 rehearsals, if not more. Spooky! But about the rehearsal itself - It was fine. I know I can't play all of the pieces, but I also know that I'm not the worst. I like to think I don't make things worse, at least! But I'm generally not that confident at the moment. August off might help, then I should probably try to practise. I should get my hands looked at first, as they hurt still. After rehearsal I went to the pub, which I haven't done for weeks! It was nice. Then I went to Doctor's and found lots of other nice people, which was also nice. But I was quite sensible and home by 12.
27/7/7 - Work. Very, very, very slow day. I was so tired. I'm getting bored of this waking up every day at 4 and not being able to get back to sleep! Grrr! Then had a nap, which is probably never a good idea, then went to a party. It was fun. I got drunk.
28/7/7 - Hangover was pretty strong. Managed to get to Nikki's by 1.30, then left to go see Caroline. We helped each other with dilemmas. Ace. Back to Nikki's and some productive stuff got done. Woo! Saturday was also the first outing I've been on with my new bike. I learnt some things - Saddles hurt the second time. Always. I think this bike's brakes are always on. Not useful. I like having a gold bike. 3 gears are not enough.
29/7/7 - Spent the day sewing with Nikki. We were quite productive! As well as managing to wear random things, giggle and do lots wrong. Rehearsal seemed to go well - it's the first I've seen of it at all. The show and performances seem excellent! Well done! The costumes also worked quite well, seeing as Nikki found out that they wanted to see them about 4 days before. Go us! Just a couple of evenings this week, and I think we'll be done. Hurrah!
30/7/7 - Today. I sent my dad an e-mail about money stuff, and realised I haven't phoned for a while, and will not have time for a while, so waffled a bit. I want to talk to them about buying houses, as my dad mentioned helping out. Not as a giving me money, but as an investment in buying somewhere big enough to get a lodger, and therefore profit for him. I think they're coming up for a weekend soonish, so I can talk to them then... If I'm here and not busy. Anyway, the panic is that they are thinking of moving. I've known this for ages - they looked at houses in Chorley and other places near them that have pretty bits a few years ago, and this year they have looked at a couple of places on Arran and the Isle of Bute that would be small businesses to keep them busy. But this whole time I didn't think about them actually leaving the house they are in! I love that house. And there is SO MUCH STUFF in it that will have to dealt with... Bum. They said that wherever they get will be big enough for us all to stay at the same time (and I guess live there if we want/need), but the stuff will still need sorting! My mum won't get a house that we couldn't live in. When she went away to uni, Gran got foreign exchange students in as lodgers, so my mum always felt that she was in the way when she went back in the hoildays, etc. So she won't have that for us. Whatever we say about it. I keep suggesting that I would only need a guest bedroom, i.e. bed & maybe a drawer/wardrobe if I was to stay more than a weekend, but she's not having it... Which is nice.
Now, I doubt anyone noticed, but it was called floods and houses, but so far I have only talked about houses. So... Floods. I happened to mention to Nikki that I thought the people moaning about the floods were silly. She quickly pointed out that this could be because I still have running water out of my taps, not on my floor. But I didn't mean it like that - I do feel for people who's stuff has been ruined and who can't just turn on their tap and who have to worry about looters and diseases from the water. What bugs me is all the people who've been quoted saying things like "I've not seen one member of the council on my street," and "Who's going to stop this happening again?" IT'S A FLOOD!!! No-one did it on purpose. Everyone is working as hard as they can to get you back into your houses safety and quickly. What good is a council worked being on your street going to do? Sympathise? They probably are, as they probably live in the same town! And if they are at your house talking to you, they are probably not helping fix the problem! But I do hope that you all get your houses with power and safe water back soon. Honest.
27/7/7 - Work. Very, very, very slow day. I was so tired. I'm getting bored of this waking up every day at 4 and not being able to get back to sleep! Grrr! Then had a nap, which is probably never a good idea, then went to a party. It was fun. I got drunk.
28/7/7 - Hangover was pretty strong. Managed to get to Nikki's by 1.30, then left to go see Caroline. We helped each other with dilemmas. Ace. Back to Nikki's and some productive stuff got done. Woo! Saturday was also the first outing I've been on with my new bike. I learnt some things - Saddles hurt the second time. Always. I think this bike's brakes are always on. Not useful. I like having a gold bike. 3 gears are not enough.
29/7/7 - Spent the day sewing with Nikki. We were quite productive! As well as managing to wear random things, giggle and do lots wrong. Rehearsal seemed to go well - it's the first I've seen of it at all. The show and performances seem excellent! Well done! The costumes also worked quite well, seeing as Nikki found out that they wanted to see them about 4 days before. Go us! Just a couple of evenings this week, and I think we'll be done. Hurrah!
30/7/7 - Today. I sent my dad an e-mail about money stuff, and realised I haven't phoned for a while, and will not have time for a while, so waffled a bit. I want to talk to them about buying houses, as my dad mentioned helping out. Not as a giving me money, but as an investment in buying somewhere big enough to get a lodger, and therefore profit for him. I think they're coming up for a weekend soonish, so I can talk to them then... If I'm here and not busy. Anyway, the panic is that they are thinking of moving. I've known this for ages - they looked at houses in Chorley and other places near them that have pretty bits a few years ago, and this year they have looked at a couple of places on Arran and the Isle of Bute that would be small businesses to keep them busy. But this whole time I didn't think about them actually leaving the house they are in! I love that house. And there is SO MUCH STUFF in it that will have to dealt with... Bum. They said that wherever they get will be big enough for us all to stay at the same time (and I guess live there if we want/need), but the stuff will still need sorting! My mum won't get a house that we couldn't live in. When she went away to uni, Gran got foreign exchange students in as lodgers, so my mum always felt that she was in the way when she went back in the hoildays, etc. So she won't have that for us. Whatever we say about it. I keep suggesting that I would only need a guest bedroom, i.e. bed & maybe a drawer/wardrobe if I was to stay more than a weekend, but she's not having it... Which is nice.
Now, I doubt anyone noticed, but it was called floods and houses, but so far I have only talked about houses. So... Floods. I happened to mention to Nikki that I thought the people moaning about the floods were silly. She quickly pointed out that this could be because I still have running water out of my taps, not on my floor. But I didn't mean it like that - I do feel for people who's stuff has been ruined and who can't just turn on their tap and who have to worry about looters and diseases from the water. What bugs me is all the people who've been quoted saying things like "I've not seen one member of the council on my street," and "Who's going to stop this happening again?" IT'S A FLOOD!!! No-one did it on purpose. Everyone is working as hard as they can to get you back into your houses safety and quickly. What good is a council worked being on your street going to do? Sympathise? They probably are, as they probably live in the same town! And if they are at your house talking to you, they are probably not helping fix the problem! But I do hope that you all get your houses with power and safe water back soon. Honest.
The Holiday
So, it appears I never blogged about America. This is what I started writing on 29.1.7:
In brief, I spent much of the time:
In brief, I spent much of the time:
- Feeling really stupid whilst everyone else thought I was exceedingly clever
- Being admired
- Looking at things
About sums it up...
Decisions
Decisions, decisions, decisions. As you will notice, they will mostly be based on other people. This is how I work.
Where to live
Edinburgh – Do I want to stay? I feel like I’ve not made that many good friends. I know I now know a lot more people. Probably more people than many people know in their whole lives. But I don’t feel like they’d miss me or I’d miss them. Except Caroline, Erin, Alex, Adam and Dave. But Erin is about to move back to Canada, Alex only sees me at home and I don’t reckon we could manage to meet otherwise, Adam is very busy and we only see each other once a month and we could do that living in different cities, same with Dave. That only leaves Caroline who I would miss and I think would be upset. I do love the place. Every day I still remember that. And every time I see the castle it cheers me up. And every time I see my street I love how pretty it is. I really, really, really want to belong here. But I’m not sure I do or can. Maybe I need to make a different life and then bring it here…
Manchester – I’m not sure I can go back. There are people that I miss so much. Charlotte, Liz, Cass, Andy, and their associated friends. I’d have people I love around me far often. I’d be nearer my folks, who I have missed a lot. I don’t know why – I didn’t used to see them often. I probably see them as often now. I just know that I can’t see them as easily.
Bolton – I could move home. It’d be cheap. I could probably get a good job at Bolton Hospital, or Wigan or one of the Manchester ones that’d be easily commutable. I’d eat properly and get enough sleep and have everything I could possibly want. I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard to visit friends from there either. Right now, I can see no disadvantages.
London – I was going to go here when I moved to Edinburgh. The reason I didn’t was that when I was thinking about it I was going to be teaching, which had a minimum salary. As a nobody I didn’t have that, and therefore couldn’t afford it. I’d say that now I have a minimum salary through the NHS that might be able to support me there… Would it be fun?
America – I wonder if I could go live in America for a year. Is that complicated? I’ll ask Melissa.
I suppose it’ll all get sorted when Melissa is here. Is that weird?? Probably. Cause I don’t know what her plans are. I think she is going to move to Edinburgh in a year, for a year or two. If so, I will buy somewhere that she can live too. Then I will plan for what I want when she’s left. But if that’s not the case, then I shall decide whether to stay or go.
Where to work
I want to be more useful. I want to work in the NHS still. I need more skills. I don’t know what these could be. I don’t know how to be more useful, and that bugs me A LOT. I just don’t know what I’d be most use at. How can I find that out?? I might go back into HR. At least I felt useful. People told me every day how useful I was and how better than the others I was.
Every decision is right and wrong. There is nothing in it. Who knows where I will find what I want from life – to fill my void? I want a life partner. That is what I want. There is no real way I can make that happen. So I don’t know what to do until then. Every decision seems pointless.
Everything seems pointless.
Where to live
Edinburgh – Do I want to stay? I feel like I’ve not made that many good friends. I know I now know a lot more people. Probably more people than many people know in their whole lives. But I don’t feel like they’d miss me or I’d miss them. Except Caroline, Erin, Alex, Adam and Dave. But Erin is about to move back to Canada, Alex only sees me at home and I don’t reckon we could manage to meet otherwise, Adam is very busy and we only see each other once a month and we could do that living in different cities, same with Dave. That only leaves Caroline who I would miss and I think would be upset. I do love the place. Every day I still remember that. And every time I see the castle it cheers me up. And every time I see my street I love how pretty it is. I really, really, really want to belong here. But I’m not sure I do or can. Maybe I need to make a different life and then bring it here…
Manchester – I’m not sure I can go back. There are people that I miss so much. Charlotte, Liz, Cass, Andy, and their associated friends. I’d have people I love around me far often. I’d be nearer my folks, who I have missed a lot. I don’t know why – I didn’t used to see them often. I probably see them as often now. I just know that I can’t see them as easily.
Bolton – I could move home. It’d be cheap. I could probably get a good job at Bolton Hospital, or Wigan or one of the Manchester ones that’d be easily commutable. I’d eat properly and get enough sleep and have everything I could possibly want. I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard to visit friends from there either. Right now, I can see no disadvantages.
London – I was going to go here when I moved to Edinburgh. The reason I didn’t was that when I was thinking about it I was going to be teaching, which had a minimum salary. As a nobody I didn’t have that, and therefore couldn’t afford it. I’d say that now I have a minimum salary through the NHS that might be able to support me there… Would it be fun?
America – I wonder if I could go live in America for a year. Is that complicated? I’ll ask Melissa.
I suppose it’ll all get sorted when Melissa is here. Is that weird?? Probably. Cause I don’t know what her plans are. I think she is going to move to Edinburgh in a year, for a year or two. If so, I will buy somewhere that she can live too. Then I will plan for what I want when she’s left. But if that’s not the case, then I shall decide whether to stay or go.
Where to work
I want to be more useful. I want to work in the NHS still. I need more skills. I don’t know what these could be. I don’t know how to be more useful, and that bugs me A LOT. I just don’t know what I’d be most use at. How can I find that out?? I might go back into HR. At least I felt useful. People told me every day how useful I was and how better than the others I was.
Every decision is right and wrong. There is nothing in it. Who knows where I will find what I want from life – to fill my void? I want a life partner. That is what I want. There is no real way I can make that happen. So I don’t know what to do until then. Every decision seems pointless.
Everything seems pointless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
